I’d like to preface anything I ever write or say to anyone in responding to something they’ve offered in conversation or debate:

I appreciate your contribution to the conversation, no matter how much I might disagree, and no matter how reservedly or otherwise I might confront that contribution. I generally appreciate disagreement as much as or more than agreement. Sometimes I’m frustrated by my finding a lack of agreement, and some emotively charged communication is such in part as an expression of alienation. I lack competency in many conventional social skills. I also generally respond to someone’s words as reflections of an idea and discourse that is quasi-autonomous from the person articulating them. If I think one of these articulations is flawed or problematic, that is not a reflection of what I think of you as a person. I have pretty thick skin, and struggle with tending to people who are more fragile. I have never felt much presence of endorsement, and (perhaps this is related) don’t understand those who expect prefatory recognition of their expression as valid, even if their ideas are being challenged. While I might rationalize it when I’m not taking greater care around those who are more sensitive, this is partly an attempt to cover for my frequent poor perception of the sensitivity of others and even poorer ability of adjusting to it. Even those ideas or discourses I most aggressively critique are not as flawed, in my eyes, as I am as a person.